Once you have kids, it can be frustrating how long it takes to get ready for an event and to pack up after an event compared to how long the event actually lasts.

Example: A family picnic at the Gardens.

Preparation:

• 10 minutes “discussing” (i.e. arguing about) the kid-friendliness, shade availability, sunshine, wind, cost, entertainment value, self-improvement potential, and exercise requirement of various locations
• 20 minutes preparing and packing a picnic (you have to have boiled eggs, after all!)
• 10 minutes applying sunscreen to everyone (following the 10 minutes it takes to FIND a bottle of sunscreen that isn’t empty)
• 10 minutes dressing kids
• 10 minutes packing clothes for kids (including making nappies, finding sunhats that will stay on the kids, getting backup clothes in case of duck-pond incident, getting warm clothes just in case Dunedin turns out to be – surprise surprise! – Dunedin)
• another 10 minutes re-dressing kids who have pooed or squeezed toothpaste all over themselves or played with the hose
• 10 minutes getting baby, child, and picnic paraphernalia (toys, seats, picnic blanket, sunshade, etc.)

And there we go. 90 minutes. An hour and a half. Excluding travel time.

Duration:

• 5 minutes chasing ducks.
• 10 minutes playing at the playground.
• 5 minutes chasing ducks.
• 10 minutes eating picnic.
• 5 minutes chasing ducks.
• 10 minutes being dragged – protesting – back to the car. On second thoughts, this isn’t part of the “fun” – it’s part of the “recovery”!

35 minutes of family fun.

Recovery:

• The unpacking of everything listed in “preparation”.

So let’s say half the prep time, i.e. 45 minutes. Excluding travel time.

We’ve invested over 2 hours of “unfun” time in preparation for and recovery from an activity that produced just over half an hour of “quality” family time. Now I’m being rather cynical here – not to mention exaggerating for dramatic effect – but this is how I view things on those rare occasions (ha!) that I’m in a negative mood.

But what I realised (and the point of this post) is that I’m looking at it in the wrong way, because every minute is not equal to every other minute. When we look back on the day or tell someone else about it, the exhausting preparation and recovery time will diminish in our minds to virtually nothing. What will loom large and grow with each retelling or remembering will be the blooming rhododendrons and the fun Linus had with the ducks and the interesting face-painter we met and the friends who joined us and the mess Ada made and the entertaining cockatoo and the wonderful sunshine and the perfectly situated shady tree and the unexpected live music.

All those minutes aren’t invested in a single, short activity… they’re invested in family memories that will last a lifetime!

Bug = 2 years 9 months
Bub = 11 months today What was Linus up to at this age?

Earlier in the year Linus had a nasty rash around his lips that lasted for weeks (or even months?). It was very red, and occasionally got so raw that it bled a little bit. It now seems to have cleared up.

But wait! There’s more!

The above is important background information so that you understand why, when you offer my little boy a piece of orange or pineapple, a concerned and sad expression comes onto his face and he says:

“No… It bleeds me.”

But don’t worry, he won’t get scurvy… His adoring Mummy now cuts his orange and pineapple up into small, skinless pieces and gives him a toothpick to eat them with so that not a drop of acid need touch his lovely lips.

Bug = 2 years 8 months
Bub = 10 months 27 days What was Linus up to at this age?

A few months ago I walked into a coffee group, asked my friend “Can you hold this, please?“, and handed Ada to her. My friends laughed – in a surprised way – at my saying “this” instead of “her”. I thought about it later and realised that I often talk about my children as “it” or “this”. What’s more, on thinking further I realised that my mum also says it.

What’s going on? Why would two such conscious parents who have such love and respect for children (not just their own children) be so disrespectful or – to be charitable – flippant about their children’s “qualifications” as human beings?

I was pleased when I did a little soul-searching and discovered the rather prosaic reason. We only do it when the children are present, and we do it out of habit so that little ears don’t prick up when they hear that they’re being talked about. When two adults are having a conversation, “it” and “they” are common words scattered throughout and often don’t refer to a person. But anyone overhearing “he” or “she” is likely to start paying more attention to the topic of conversation, and particularly if the pronoun possibly refers to them. And believe me, my mum and I do a LOT of talking about child development, child behaviour, discipline, education, etc., etc.!

I just went into the bathroom to do my hair. Linus came through about one minute later and said:

“Oh, there you are Mummy. I was missing you!”

It’s a beautiful day!

Bug = 2 years 8 months
Bub = 10 months 26 days What was Linus up to at this age?

Ada has played with the barstools in our kitchen many times, pushing them around like walking frames.

Unfortunately she must have grown stronger and/or dumber, because last week – despite my warning her not to! – she pulled one down on herself.

We don’t think anything was broken, but she did get a magnificent* bruise between her eyes.

* And in case you’re thinking I’m being too blasé about this and I’m a negligent mother, don’t – I had a nice long chat to a Healthline nurse about it.