Bug = 2 years 1 month
Bub = 3 months 1 day

For Bug’s baby showers a couple of years ago, I received one or two dummies (also known as pacifiers). I never used them with Bug. I didn’t have anything in particular against them, but I didn’t trust myself to limit their use; I felt that a baby having a dummy in their mouth all their waking hours was probably not a good thing.

Since then I’ve learned a little more, such as the notion that a baby’s need to suck is usually signalling a need for nourishment or comfort. Obviously the need for food should ideally be met by the mother’s breast, and using the same tool to give “just” comfort isn’t a bad thing either.

With Bub, I’m much quicker to give her the breast than I was with her brother. However the one occasion when it’s almost (although not completely?!?!) impossible to comfort her in this way is when we’re driving, and Bub is far less settled by car travel than Bug was at her age.

Because of this, we tried out a dummy on Bub a few weeks ago on a short trip over the hill to Mosgiel. She took to it well, and it proved to be a life-saver on our recent Christchurch trip (5-6 hours each way).

I’ll try my darnedest to limit its use to just in the car. But recent supermarket trips have been pretty hell-ish too, with Bub not settling well in the sling or front-pack. So we’ll see…

Dummies for Dummies

• La Leche League
• Diane Wiessinger
• NZ Ministry of Health
• UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative statement on dummy use
• AskDrSears
• Kellymom
  

Bug = 2 years 1 month
Bub = 3 months

Aunty Andi and Uncle Matt (in Christchurch) recently moved into a new house that’s about three times the size of their previous one, so we decided the time was right to have our first weekend away as a family of four. It also gave Bub and Matt the chance to meet at last.

As well as loving our kids, Andi and Matt have a very tidy house, so child-safe and child-proof issues were relaxingly minimal compared with a lot of childless homes. Andi, the doting aunty, has designated their tiny single bedroom as “Linus’s room” and has set up a basket of toys for her favourite nephew.

Sleep

The main complication for sleeping arrangements with our family at the moment is that Bub and I are used to sleeping together or right beside each other. I didn’t want to mess with that while on holiday – for her sake or mine! This meant that I had to find a sleeping set-up that was safe for bed-sharing.

Although Andi had a single bed and room set up for Bug, he didn’t end up using it. Night one saw me and Bub in the single bed, while Daddy and Bug were in the king-size bed at the other end of the house. The roll-together on the single was too much for me, however, so the following night I slept in the king with both kids while Daddy slept alone in the single.

We took our portacot away with us, but didn’t use it at all since Bub isn’t used to it and Bug is a bed-sleeper now. (Given how much trouble we had getting Bug to sleep over the weekend, perhaps we should have used it!)

Bub’s hammock, on the other hand, proved indispensable. On Friday I made an emergency trip to Baby City to buy a Jolly Jumper*. This will be useful for Bub when she’s older (as it was with Bug), but the reason I rushed out to get it was to get the sturdy clamp that comes with it. This clamps onto door frames and can be used with our hammock, so it means we can take our hammock and Jolly Jumper when we go visiting.

Travel

Last Christchurch trip, Bug was hell on the way up. Our lesson from that trip was to travel at night with kids so they’ll sleep peacefully for the entire journey.

This wisdom led us to decide to leave our trips until around 5:30pm both ways this time. Unfortunately it didn’t work so well on our drive up. Bub travelled well (with the help of her dummy), but Bug did not. He cried a lot, and was incredibly overtired, exacerbated by the fact that he’d chosen not to have a nap that day. During the second half of our drive to Christchurch he was frantic with crying, and his answer to any question was a distraught wail of “No-o-o-o-o!” We were able to stop and soothe or distract him, but whenever we put him back in the carseat he’d rev up again.

Finally at Rakaia, Daddy stopped the car and managed to calm the poor exhausted boy with magical fatherly touches… or maybe Bug just passed out!

Like last time, the trip back to Dunedin was infinitely better. Both kids slept like angels for the entire trip, interrupted only by a half-hour break in Timaru so everyone could have something to eat.

The Weekend

We did very little in the weekend. In fact, Bob pointed out that he didn’t even leave the house!

We don’t know anyone else in Christchurch, so it was relaxing to slob around all weekend, and it was lovely for the kids to spend some quality time with their aunty and uncle (who got engaged the day before we arrived, by the way!).

The weekend’s activities probably amounted to:

• Bug walked to the playground with Matt and Andi;
• Bug and Andi blew bubbles (including smoke bubbles, which are pretty cool although smoking is not cool of course!);
• Bug, Bub, Mummy and Andi went to the supermarket and the gypsy fair, where Bug enjoyed a carousel ride in a little green car;
• Bub slept on Matt a lot while he watched TV.

And there was pizza.

Bug = 2 years 1 month and some days
Bub = 3 months (13 weeks)

I can’t be bothered counting days with Bug any more, so from now on his age will be in just years and months.

Bub turns exactly 3 months (also 13 weeks) old today, and just as I did with Bug at the same age, I’ll do her age in months and days from now on.

Bug = 2 years 25 days
Bub = 12 weeks 2 days

Naming People

Bug now knows what his family members’ names are, i.e. he knows that Mummy’s name is Linda, Daddy’s name is Bob, and so on for Nana, Gaga, Granny, and Pop-pop.

When Bug’s sitting in his high-chair he rarely focusses on food: he tends to either perform in some way, or become contemplative and talk to himself. He was doing the latter the other day, and impressed me by saying “Pop-pop’s name Keith”, then “Ganny’s name Jean”, etc. That’s unprompted three-word sentences, folks!

“Ganny”

Bug has said “Nana”, “Gaga”, and “Pop-pop” clearly for a long time now, but he has struggled with “Granny”. For quite a long time he said it “Dennis” (go figure!). Then it turned – rather confusingly! – into a word virtually indistinguishable from “Daddy”. In the past couple of weeks, however, he’s finally managed to stick to a clear “Ganny”.

The Cats

Bug’s also showing some promise of being able to say “Jasper” rather than “Bada“. At this stage he changes between the two forms, or sometimes it even comes out as “Jaspada”.

Squee‘s name is no longer “Wee” but “Hee”. I’m not sure I’d call that progress, but time will tell…

Drooly

Bub has been quite drooly over the past couple of days, and has enjoyed some gummy gnawing on my knuckles. It probably doesn’t mean anything. I can’t see the tip of tooth in her lower gums any more. But you have to note these things down in case they turn out to be significant. (As you can see, I’m preparing evidence for future “Well MY daughter started teething before three months!” anecdotes.)

Bug = 2 years 23 days
Bub = 12 weeks

Before Bub was born, I started thinking about toilet training Bug. However I decided that it would be too much to have to move to a big boy bed and become a big brother and toilet train all in the same few months, so I didn’t do much more about it, apart from a little reading on the subject.

Signs of Readiness

Now that we’re totally sussed with being parents to two kids, the time has come to ease into toilet training. Childcare Online suggests that signs of readiness may include:

1. Stays dry for two hours or more at a time during the day
2. Wakes up dry from naptime
3. Complains when wet or dirty
4. Tells you when he needs to go
5. Wants to act like and please adults
6. Can follow instructions

I would say that Bug possibly does 1 and 2, but I haven’t really been observant about this; he sometimes does 3 and 4, but only with poos; and definitely does 5 and 6 (he’s a marvellous little slave sometimes!).

Easing Into It

For quite a few months, Bob and I have been laying the groundwork for toilet training. This has included:

• having a potty around for Bug to get used to;
• casually suggesting that he try sitting on it;
• talking about whether he wants to do poos or wees and talking about when he’s done it;
• having him in the bathroom while we’re on the toilet and talking about what we’re doing;
• trying not to make any aspect of toiletting negative (e.g. talk too much about poos being stinky or dirty – quite a challenge when he’s just painted it onto his sheets!);
• having lots of nappy-free time – easy to do in summer! (This has meant that Bug has done wees a LOT around the house, but he’s very good at getting a cloth and cleaning it up now.)

Granny also has a potty, and apparently managed to get Bug to do some wees in it a few months ago, but hasn’t repeated this success.

Training for Real

On Sunday Bob and I tried to encourage Bug to do wees on the potty, but didn’t have much luck. The little sweety tried for us – he strained to do wees – but only managed a couple of drips. We made a bit of a song and dance over the drips regardless, and Bob “poured” them into the toilet.

Yesterday, Bug was nappy-free for most of the afternoon, and he did wees about four times in different spots around the house. Each time I wondered about putting him on the potty, but I figured that he’d “been” already and didn’t need to go now (plus, I confess, I was busy cooking up a storm and probably didn’t want the interruption).

However after the third or fourth “accident”, I decided that this behaviour obviously didn’t mean he was empty… it meant that he was trying to hold the wees in, especially since each accident was tiny (verging on invisible!).

So I sat Bug down on his potty with a magazine, and before I knew it there was a gush. I helped Bug aim into the potty, and he did a genuine potty wee. I whooped and congratulated and generally let Bug know how pleased I was, and decided that his treat for doing so well was that he would be allowed to use a big wad of toilet paper. (That sounds a little feeble, but he loves playing with the toilet paper when he’s in the bathroom, and mean old Mummy only usually lets him have one piece.)

What Now?

I’m not sure whether I’m nobly motivated by “letting the child go at his own pace” and “being led by the child’s needs”, or whether I’m just lazy or overwhelmed, but my urge now is to keep going just how we have been with casual mentions of the potty and when he needs to go.

I hope that it will allow a gradual process that will be self-perpetuating: the good experiences (self-control and parental plaudits for Bug, fewer nappies and glowing pride for parents) will motivate all parties to continue and expand on the behaviours.

I’m not in any hurry.

Links

• Dr Sears
• Childcare Online (NZ)
• Japanese toilet training cartoon – cute and weird
• some cartoons