Bug = 1 year 9 months 10 days
Bub = due in 45 days

Bug continues to go from strength to strength with his vocabulary, and I feel that he’s almost on the verge of combining the single words he knows so well together into meaningful phrases like ‘more cheese’ (I’m sure this will be his first compound request). In the interests of encouraging him I have been trying to get him to repeat after me and say “Yes Daddy”, or “No Daddy”. He’s keen on the idea, answering “Yesh”, followed by “Daddy” enunciated purposefully (I suspect!) as a completely separate word.

The range of words that he knows is almost innumerable, with new ones being added almost on a daily basis. He is now able to distinguish the difference in sound between a lawn mower, a helicopter and a plane, with appropriate sounds for each (helicopter comes out as “hup-cupt” as he points to the palm of his hand with his fingers splayed – the sign for helicopter). My favourite right now is his version of “Robot” which comes out as a steady “wut-tut”. This is odd, because he can say “Ro” and he can say “Bot” but putting them together somehow mangles it into good old goo-goo speak. Just like Jasper (our ginger cat) whose component syllables can be pronounced almost perfectly, but when combined “Bahdah” comes out.

If you think those are bad, pity poor Granny (my mummy…) who in the past has been known as “oonylah”, “Pop pop” (!) and is currently known as “Dennis”. Good fun!

Bug = 1 year 9 months 10 days
Bub = due in 45 days

Not long after Bug was born, Bob’s workmates gave us a “baby-warming” gift – a camera that we could use as a 21st century baby monitor. It was wired through to our TV in our lounge, so we could flick through to it to not only hear but see what our baby boy was up to.

We stopped using this camera a long time ago once Bug’s sleeping was well-settled and his lungs were strong enough to get our attention when he woke up.

Now the boy’s in a bed, however, everything has changed. He is “free range”, meaning that when we leave him to go to sleep, he might go to sleep, or he might not:

I’m loving having the camera set up again… He doesn’t (touch wood!) get up very much when he’s been put into his beloved bed, but it’s so cute to watch him sing, or talk to himself, or chat to his duvet cover, or throw his animals away…

On Monday – the day after we got the camera set up – I put Bug down for his nap with no song, book, etc. because my friend RH and her daughter SO were visiting. By the time I got through to the lounge and got the TV on to check on him, he was moving around on his bed, then down playing with his toybox, then crawling under his cot (I had his door shut tight for a change so he wouldn’t be tempted to come out and be social).

So I went out to say bye to RH and SO, and after 10 minutes chatting I came back inside, looked on the camera, and to my great surprise and delight, Bug was IN BED ASLEEP.

He is an angel!

Bug = 1 year 9 months 7 days
Bub = due in 48 days

I mentioned in passing in a recent post that I’d decided to have a home birth this time around, so I thought I’d better give some more background on that decision.

Last Time Around

I don’t think I considered for a second having a home birth with Bug. I faintly remember the midwife asking where I planned to give birth, and I probably said “Here [the hospital], I guess!”. Home birth wasn’t mentioned as an option in our antenatal classes, except in the context of what to do if the birth happened before we had a chance to get to hospital.

So Why This Time?

When I mention that I’m having a home birth, many people (who know about Bug’s birth) assume that the speed of Bug’s birth is the driving reason for my decision. However, this is not the case.

La Leche League

My heavy involvement in La Leche League (LLL) is probably the first influence in the decision. LLL doesn’t specifically advocate home birth, but one of its core philosophies is:

“Alert and active participation by the mother in childbirth is a help in getting breastfeeding off to a good start.”

“Active birth” is a birth philosophy commonly mentioned in LLL materials.

However in early 2007 I was still not convinced that home birth would be the way to go for me – I described myself as 60:40 for hospital versus home birth. It’s in my nature to have great trust in and respect for authority and professionals, and my experience of a hospital birth had been very positive (although obviously I had no comparison).

Diane Wiessinger

The second and strongest influence in my decision came in April this year when I went to the LLLNZ 2007 National Conference in Christchurch. The keynote speaker at this conference was Diane Wiessinger, an American lactation consultant with a background in evolutionary biology.

Her keynote speech was focused on the natural behaviours of (non-human) mammals in relation to birth. The points that stuck out for me were:

• Farmers, vets, and other professionals who are experts in dealing with animals know that the best way to let a horse, sheep, dog, etc. give birth is to leave them alone wherever they are safe and comfortable and let them get on with it.
• No matter how “home-like” an environment attempts to be, whether it’s a cold, clinical hospital or a romantically lit, super-comfortable birthing centre, it is not your home, and your body knows that. Diane uses the example of being being on a wonderful, fun holiday in a blissfully comfortable and relaxing environment, but in spite of this still finding that you spend the entire holiday constipated because your body – while happy – isn’t at home.
• When people first compare home and hospital births, it’s easy to think of them as equivalent, but with more “safety measures” there for a hospital birth “just in case”. But the two are not equivalent: even in the most modern hospitals that are supportive of “natural” birth, the very fact that they provide easy accessibility to interventions, pain relief drugs, anaesthetists, etc. has a powerful psychological effect on everyone involved in the process. (While making use of these measures is obviously useful or necessary in some cases, they can all have short- and long-term effects on the mother, the baby, and their relationship.)
• There are risks associated with home births, but official parties giving advice find it too easy to use that as an excuse to recommend against them in spite of the benefits that such births also offer. Compare this to driving cars, which is a much riskier activity, but we all acknowledge the “need” to drive, so we do all we reasonably can to research, legislate and educate to minimise the risks. (This is exactly the same point that had already occurred to me about bed-sharing: why not advise the public of its benefits and how to do it safely, rather than tar all bed-sharing with the same brush and recommend against it?!?! We don’t tell parents not to drive children anywhere – we tell them not to drive drunk or tired, and to use approved child restraints at all times. Yet after medical causes, transport is the biggest cause of death for 1- to 19-year-olds in New Zealand.)

The overall effect of the presentation was to impress upon me the fact that birth is a natural process that has been going on for thousands of years, and in most cases (where there aren’t complications such as multiple babies or a baby in a breech position) with a positive outcome – and doctors and hospitals haven’t had to be involved in the process at all.

Diane’s speech tipped the balance, and after it I knew that I would prefer a home birth for my next time around.

Home Birth Association

Since my decision to have a home birth, I’ve joined the Dunedin Home Birth Association, so while this organisation didn’t influence my initial decision, it now plays an important role in supporting that decision by providing education and contacts. It’s encouraging to meet people who have had positive, problem-free births in their own homes with their whole families – including their older children – around them. It’s a side of birth that you don’t get exposed to in mainstream childbirth education, even though 5-10% of births probably take place at home (more info on the NZHIS website).

Choices in Dunedin

For some people who aren’t comfortable in hospitals or with the medicalisation of childbirth, there is the option of choosing a primary maternity facility as the venue for your birth. These facilities are often called “birthing centres”, and it’s my understanding that they offer the focused care that hospital staff would offer, but without all the trappings – positive and negative – of a hospital (such as doctors and operating theatres) and – in general – with a stronger focus on low intervention, family involvement, and home-like facilities and decor.

Unfortunately in Dunedin, mothers don’t have this option. Their choice is between home or hospital. I guess it’s the downside of being lucky enough to have a big, teaching hospital in the city.

(I’m not an expert on these facilities and the distinctions between primary, secondary and tertiary medical facilities in New Zealand. The best reference I could find after a quick Google was on the NZ College of Midwives website, and that’s still pretty brief! Anyone other references on the subject – in the context of healthcare in general, not just birth – would be interesting.)

What If…?

What if I didn’t live just 10 minutes from a large, tertiary public hospital?

What if my birth experience last time hadn’t been as smooth as it was?

What if I was giving birth for the first time but with my current level of knowledge?

Would my decision be the same?

I really don’t know. I’m glad I’m not in any of those positions.

Links

• Diane Wiessinger on birth and breastfeeding: PLEASE read some of these – they’re brief, easy to read, and written with a sense of humour!
• Home Birth Aotearoa
• New Zealand College of Midwives
• Comparing home and hospital births
• Monty Python’s take on the subject: Highlight = (Mother) “What do I do?” (Doctor) “Nothing, dear, you’re not qualified!”
• Peripherally related article on portrayals on birth in the media

Bug = 1 year 9 months 1 day
Bub = due in 54 days

Hiccups

I remembered the other day that Bug used to get hiccups quite often when I was pregnant with him, so I looked back in my maternity notes and found out that we first noted his hiccups about 5 weeks before he was born (7 weeks before he was due). So right on cue a couple of nights ago, Bub developed hiccups!

In case you’re wondering, foetal hiccups feel like gentle little kicks, but you can tell they’re hiccups because they’re far more rhythmic than normal baby movements.

A Lovely Weekend

This weekend has had beautiful weather. Yesterday we had friends over for lunch, and were able to eat outside soaking up some sunshine. Today we decided to go for a big walk, so we drove up to Mount Cargill and walked down through the bush to the Organ Pipes. We sat at the Organ Pipes and ate some salad and bananas, then trekked back up the hill.

About 10 minutes into our walk, we saw a dead bumble bee on the path, so Bob picked it up and showed it to Bug (“Bee!“).

So an hour and a half later near the end of our walk, Bug – high up in the back-pack on Daddy’s shoulders – said “Bee”. And we realised that he was right – we’d just passed the exact spot where we saw the bee on the way down! So either he has fabulous eyesight (to spot a bee on a gravel path from 2 metres up) or he’s got a great memory and sense of direction. I think we know who our family navigator is going to be (once he can read!).

The Bed

Bug has transitioned beautifully to his new bed, and he really loves it. The other night at bedtime, I took his nappy off and took it to the laundry, and when I got back he had climbed nappy-less into his bed.

He has woken up a few more times during the night than he used to in his cot, but not too often (and not every night), and he’s usually easy to settle again.

Bug loves snuggling down in his bed… he loves clambering all over this bed looking at (and growling at) the jungle animals on his bedspread… he loves saying the word “bed”… I hope toilet training is this easy!

I was really looking forward to Bug coming wandering through to us in the mornings (instead of us having to go and get him). Unfortunately so far he’s been so happy in his room with his toys and books and – most of all – singing to himself, that when he wakes up in the morning his parents are the furthest thing from his mind!

Sleeping

Fatigue hasn’t been much of a problem for me this pregnancy, but over the past few weeks I’ve been having more and more early nights. Usually this means going to bed around 8:30pm and reading until 9:30pm or 10:00pm, then going to sleep. However on Thursday night I went to bed at 7:30pm (just after Bug), and slept for 11 hours!

Apparently this was too much sleep, because all Friday I felt absolutely shattered, and to top that off Bug decided – for possibly the first time ever – that he didn’t need a nap at all on Friday (no matter how much Mummy did!).

On Friday night, I went to bed at a more normal hour (i.e. too late), but woke at 4:00am and didn’t manage to sleep again for a couple of hours. On the plus side, I got to catch up on some email and see the sunrise.

I have to try to remember to make Bob tend to Bug in the middle of the night. Not because I’m pregnant, not because I’m tired, not because I’m lazy, and in spite of the fact that he works more days than I do… the reason he is the better choice to deal with night-wakings (of the Bug variety, i.e. not requiring breastfeeding!) is that he can fall back to sleep at the drop of a hat, whereas when my sleep is disturbed it may well mean I miss out on an hour or two of sleep (thanks to the insane hamsters in my brain running around and around and around in their little wheels!).

I’m hoping that the exercise I got on our big walk today will help me get a good night’s sleep… if only I can finish this blog before 10:00pm!!

Bug = 1 year 8 months 26 days
Bub = due in 60 days

There’s nothing as pitiful as your baby (I know he’s no longer A baby, but he’ll always be MY baby!) stumbling and crying out of his room in the middle of the night…

There’s nothing as sweet as your wee boy marching out of his room after a (mostly) good night’s sleep and coming smiling into your bedroom to climb into your bed…

Bug’s first night in his “big boy bed” was excellent. He was down at 8:45pm; stirred and grizzled, then resettled, at 1:20am; woke and got up at 2:00am and needed 45 minutes of Mummy time (singing, stroking, etc.) to go back to sleep; then woke for the day at the ever-so-slightly later than usual 7:15am.

The only thing wrong with the whole plan is that we didn’t have a nightlight set up. We want a dim nightlight in the hallway so that Bug doesn’t get too lost or hurt when he wanders half-asleep in the middle of the night. The most frustrating thing is that we have such a nightlight… somewhere?!?!